Have you ever came across someone who was twenty years younger, stared and gave you the eyebrow just because of what you were wearing? Did you find the reaction funny and simply ignored it or did you give your most poker faced attitude that blatantly said, " What are you looking at ? " Granted that we were given eyes to see and to admire the view from time to time, still one can never hide the fact that some shallow and limited people use them to measure you up and worst, analyze and judge you to lighten up what seem to be a boring day.
I just came from my early morning run and aero at the park. It was a Sunday, a day when I wake up at three in the morning, eat a very light breakfast and do some warm ups so I could prepare for my fitness day. I chose to run simply because there are no jeepneys yet at that hour and it is impractical to take a cab. Besides, the park where I join the early morning exercise was almost 10 kilometers away. It was also a very good excuse to improve on my running since Sunday is the only day I set aside for exercise despite my toxic lifestyle and age. I had been working in a call center for eight years now where I had sacrificed eight years of regular sleeping and working hours and felt its health drawbacks. I am now in my mid forties and I am not getting any younger. Thus three to four hours of exercise every weekend plus my daily brisk walking activities are the only way for me to get fit and healthy and that slimming down just to be sexy was the farthest thing in my mind why I wear work out clothes and sweat my butt out every weekend.
Sometimes I find it funny to the point of being annoyed why some people just don't get that.
I was on my way home and had the displeasure of having a young lady in her mid twenties in the same elevator going to my unit. Her scrutiny at my work out clothes and sweaty body did not escape me while I pretended to ignore her. Whatever was running inside her ill mind was something that I have no time for, even her raised eyebrow which she made sure I saw before she alighted the elevator. I just wished she heard what I said in my mind which might have made her stares into glares, pathetic little fool that she is.
At times I feel that insecurity comes to all ages, faces and shapes. You can see it openly as some people wear their hearts on their sleeves whereas for others they have learned through practice how to hide it well. There is a sad truth that we all want to look beautiful and sexy. Some even make the extreme measures of maintaining it because that is how they earn for a living. Some strive for it due to vanity reasons while others have a crooked definition of it to the point of using people to their own advantage. Unfortunately, a lot of people forget that the brain is the sexiest part in the human body and sadly where all the chunk of trashy and toxic mindsets had lived for years. Sometimes I wish that our brains have filters where we could just screen all the negative thoughts clouding us from the right perspective which is a great help in having a healthy life.
You know what my definition of sexiness is? Subtlety, simplicity, less make up or none at all. A free spirit. Unconventionalism. Courage. Creativity. Compassion. Honesty. Proactiveness. Learning from life's blessings in disguise in silence or by eventually laughing it off. Accepting one's responsibility. Doing that extra mile to understand and appreciate children and the elderly. Finding time to hug your kids and discovering that inner child as you once again look at the world differently. Just like running at four in the morning as you wait and greet the early morning sun, basking in its glow on your sweaty self, seizing the day and living it for the moment.
So what is your definition of sexiness ? I would love to hear your thoughts.