Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Must Have Done Something Good

It had been almost seven years ago when I decided to say goodbye from being a stay at home mom to a working one, a decision that was one of the most difficult ones I made in my life as I was torn if I was doing the right thing or not. A decision that did not just tore our family apart but one that was a turning point not just with my life but to my kids and my mom as well as I started from scratch with everything -  with work, parenting and learning to live with my decision day to day. Guilt, sadness and a sense of loss had haunted me not once and I have to admit until now. I sometimes feel that even though I have come a long way from the financially dependent and insecure plain housewife that I was to the secured and creative working mom that I have become, there were days that I cannot help but shed some tears of the times lost not being with my kids because I chose to work so I could provide them with their needs. Some days there is this gnawing need just to be with them, cooking and preparing their meals, keeping house, sharing stories and laughing out loud with all of them. Sadly those days had become less and fewer in between and I cannot help but feel guilty of it all. And when that happens I feel that I have become a bad parent , an unfit mom especially when I look at their pictures with happy faces without me  around.

Lately, I have been looking for inspiration with the blogs I read, with the people I meet. Lately more moms are deciding to work from home just so they could be with their kids. I cannot help but feel envious. Sadly I do not have that freedom yet as I have seven kids, three having special needs. With the medical and dental benefits I get from the company, not including the salary and tenure for being with them for almost six years I chose to stay. Though I am very much aware that my methods of parenting   should not be in any way considered as the right way, I am not also insensitive of the talks and stories I hear from strangers and from my kids who unintentionally become well known because of our unconventional family set up and siblings who have special needs. Until I found this inspiring message that conveys what I feel and how I handled my life as parent .



Source: specialchildren.about.com via Kristi on Pinterest


All of a sudden that guilt that has been clouding my days had now lifted, making me realize that every parent has a unique way of bringing up their children. Though the times spent with them can never be under estimated, as long as I will always make them feel they matter and loved no matter how short that time was will always be timeless and precious, enough to last me a lifetime.
                                    
                                           

12 comments:

  1. You are indeed a good parent. Seven Kids! As you take care of your children, your own angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you too. For us working mothers, there is really no more fearful than leave our children at home, but right there, the decision to provide for them is really more courageous. It was nice to drop by!

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    1. It really is very hard when a parent is torn between leaving her children in order for her to work away from home. Writing this post and finding this wonderful quote somehow helped me lessen that parent guilt.

      Thanks for dropping by .

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  2. Cheers to you Sarah! trust your gut in situations like this. You are the best mom as you can be. Providing for your family, and taking care of them in your own special ways. Remember that we can't do things all the same time. we can only try to do our best in what ever choices and decisions we came up with.

    Stay happy!! ;-)

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  3. Thank you Malou for dropping by and for the encouraging words.

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    1. I agree Shell. It is so full of love and positivity . Thank you fro always dropping by.

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  5. Sarah, that's a beautiful post! I came across your blog via Aileen's, who has become a (virtually) close online friend since I started blogging seriously last August. I, too, am a working mom, with two teenage girls (16 and 14) and one 7 year old boy. All I wish, deep in my heart, is to be a stay at home mom, but "kailangan". I need to work. Your quote and of course, your post, encouraged and convinced me that I am doing something right.

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    1. Thanks Marie for your encouraging words and for dropping by.

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  6. Finally found the comment box. Something must be wrong with my eyes lol! Anyway, I cannot think of you as a bad parent in any way. I think you have done your best to raise up your kids the best way you know...and nobody could question that. They have to be in your shoes for them to know what they are talking about. Carry on sis. It's your kids who matter, not what other people think. So don't feel bad...feel proud!

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  7. Seven children? Wow, I loved to have lots of children, but I couldn't afford it. Im a single mum, and I run up a child care business at home, so i could earn money and be a mum at the same time, hard work but it works and helped me pay the bills...

    Very inspiring , will follow you...

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  8. Hi Sarah! I'm so sorry I haven't posted the Liebster award you have for me.

    Anyway, I also have felt the mommy guilt you're talking about. I feel it when I try to have a little time for myself.

    Only YOU could be the best mom to your wonderful kids, that is the role GOD has destined for you, no matter what people say. It's hard enough to be a parent, we don't need judgmental people around to tell us we're wrong. Right?

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